I'll try and be more consistent on this joint this year. We'll see how that goes.
To date (thanks to my friends and associates) I have a ton of ideas. I just have to sit down and write them out, expound and shit.
We'll kick off the new year with a post about wants.
Some people may get into the dialogue of deal breakers, which to an extent are important factors in choosing someone. What we as a society do, which I've said before so this may seem redundant, is live in extravagance and excess. I'm not going to tell you what you need because, fuck I don't know your life. this post will however show you somethings you may want to consider when thinking about what you want in a potential/current/maybe situation.
I'm also not gonna get into looks because 1. I don't date/fuck/mess with boys, and 2. Time wilts all flowers, so that "Adonis" that you once had will eventually become an "Al Bundy" and the sooner you understand that the faster you'll be concerned with his non-superficial features.
I feel like I have a good grip on the ideal woman for myself (and I'll post that with explanations), but alot of the revelations that I've come at are a result of a shit load of irritation and time spent with women who I shouldn't have dated. Just in case someone I've dated is reading this, I'm not talking about you, just the rest of them. I say (or type rather) this to illustrate that the only way you can realize what you want/need is to "play the field". You do have to becareful though. People tend to pigeonhole themselves towards a specific type. I dig it, you like something and you go for it. It makes 100% sense. However this, in my opinion, may be doing more harm than you realize.
Everywoman I've dated has generally been very different than the last. This maybe a result of some boredom, bad blood with the last type, a wide attraction range, or some other shit of a reason. The only benefit that this has honestly given me is that it's given me a larger representative sample of women, and through that I was/am able to eliminate and combine those qualities which I don't fuck with or appreciate in a woman.
By focusing on a "type" you run the risk of not allowing your preference room to grow. We all start off with this idealistic view towards a future boyfriend/girlfriend, and our experiences with the real thing help shape our views into a hopefully realistic one. The problem that focusing on a type brings is that it prevents you any further growth. If you date 5 guys in succsession who are the same, what have you taken from them? You couldn't have learned of a quality you don't like because you're back with the same type of guy. And if you did find a quality which drove you to leave him, then why would you return to the same type of guy? The people we date should end up being a process of elimination, and through this we weed out those qualities which we can't deal with and those we can. There's noway you can differentiate between the same guy, woman, bottle of water, or can of soup for that matter. In order to develop an opinion and a preference you have to experience others in and outside of that genre, and only then can you say you prefer something. It's like my cousins. co-workers, and myself at times tend to say (in reference to a foreign food) "I don't like it" or "I don't eat that", but when rebutted with "have you had it?" their only response "is no, I just know I don't like it". How retarted is that?
Ladies don't be retarded
On that note, I think we should all date someone who is the exact opposite of our "type". Even if it's for one date It'll either help you realize what you don't like about that "type" or you may find that you've been shunning someone who compliments you more than you thought.
The last thing I want to say is, before you dismiss a guy who's trying to talk to you sit and have a long (not a , "hi, where are you from, what school do you go to" convo) conversation. Get to know him, maybe even approach him in the bar (I know that shit is taboo, but men do respect it when you're not acting like a whore). Even if he isn't you're type you are sure to learn something.
Now I'm not saying go out there and be a fast ass. All I'm saying is diversify your criteria. What's the worst that could happen, free food? free movie?
(make sure you drive btw or take public transportation, just in case the bamma's a creeper)
As always I'd like to read your thoughts (possible comment on them in a post). What do you like and why?
- Dre
2 comments:
This post probably made more sense than all of the previous posts combined.
Okay, on to my real comment. For starters, that line about, "I'm talking about everyone else about you..." HEE LARRY US! Anyway, What you are saying is true...we should diversify what we look for in a partner through dating different people and not repeating the same dating pattern that got us the loser we are trying to run from in the first place. However, my only disagreement was the part about going for Adonis. Of course when people say this it SOUNDS NICE, but our first line of attraction is physical. And even when we mentally connect with someone, in order for us to want to go to the next level in a relationship; AKA RUBBING WALLS AKA BUSTING ICE CREAM CONES AKA FUCKIN...we have to be attracted physically to a person, for the most part. Yes there are people who can be turned on by stimulating convo...but after the mouths are closed and the clothes are off...if what a person is looking at is lackluster...WELL! The well dries up...and there goes the relationship.
So yes, having a purely physical relationship may not prove for long term...but being attracted is definitely important...even if that requires a person to find their own version of Adonis...then that's what needs to happen. Cause remember who I think is gorgeous may be another persons...carrot top. Also, just because a person has a physical type doesn't mean they have no variation in every other quality.
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