FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS CONTRACT

For some time now there has been various inquisitions as to what are the ground rules for friends with benefits. As a result we here at ATBAB have decided to formulate the First Official Friends with Benefits Contract. The following will consist of the the Ten Stipulations that must be followed in order for a successful partnership between two (hopefully) attractive people who want more than just the casual meet and greet. Be mindful that this about benefits that begin and end with sexual favors, not benefits such as getting in the VIP at your favorite club for the low-low. Now without further ado the first ever FWB Contract.

STIPULATION #1: THERE HAS TO BE A LEGITIMATE REASON WHY YOU AREN'T DATING THE INDIVIDUAL

Otherwise you could just date them right? So whether its their height, weight, hair type, hair color, volume of voice, educational background, finances, eating habits or whatever something must be present. Remember you have a right to be picky with whom you choose to be seen in public with. They definitely have friend qualities; they just don't have the qualities to make you want to date them on a consistent basis.

STIPULATION #2: THERE CAN BE EXACTLY ZERO EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT

Catching feelings with someone that is around for just physical pleasure, uncool. Realize that this is about sexual gratification. If the person makes you mad, so what? Get over it, fuck 'em and leave. That's all there is to it. So understand that you would not call this friend up when you need a shoulder to lean on, you should have someone else in your contact lists for that.

STIPULATION #3: THE EXPECTATIONS OF THE FRIENDSHIP MUST BE AGREED UPON PRIOR TO ANY SEXUAL INTERACTIONS

If you do want to have you sex with a shoulder to lean on also you need to disclose this information prior to the sex occuring. We have already stated that people (men in particular) have a issue with changing from comfortable behaviors. In saying that, if the routine is normally to get it in, then get the hell out; a red flag will raise when a conversation about something bothering you arises after the fluids have been released. A simple conversation before hand will work wonders.

STIPULATION #4: UNANNOUNCED "STOP-BY"S ARE PROHIBITED

And are punishable by death. Some things you just don't do and this is one of them. What if the other has someone else over? Now everyone has an awkward feeling that should never have occurred in the first place. Which reminds me...

STIPULATION #5: THE PARTNER MUST BE KEPT INFORMED OF THE OTHER'S RELATIONSHIP STATUS

Friends with benefits sometimes feel that this isn't all that important but it really is. You have to let the benefitted friend know of your relationship status thus allowing stipulation numero uno happen more easily. This will kill the emotional attachment (that already shouldn't be there) and have the two of you focus on what's important --- which is the sex if you were unsure. If the partner doesn't like the idea of you seeing someone else, tell they baby-ass its time to take their mom's breast out of they mouth and grow the hell up.

STIPULATION #6: THE SEX MUST BE ABOVE AVERAGE

This is the whole point of becoming friends with benefits. Enjoying the perks of a relationship without the actual relationship. If the sex is just up to par, then I guess you could continue to fuck around with them but it would probably be best to just find a better partner, since you have a need for one anyway. You could also just as easily tell them to step their game up cause you should be honest with everyone but blunt with a benefitted friend.

STIPULATION #7: THERE MUST BE MORE SEX THAN PUBLIC OUTINGS

Remember this is not about companionship; it is about sexual gratification, sheer moments of passion and pleasure. Not much more and damn sure not anything less. No need for dates.

STIPULATION #8: WHEN MEETING EVERYTHING THAT YOU ARRIVED WITH MUST DEPART WITH YOU

Do not allow the partner to leave any of their stuff at your place! No toothbrushes, no clothing, nothing! There should be no ties at all. Someone will try and do this if they're over enough times, just for "convenience." But it's really a doorway into moving more and more things in, until they have effectively attached themselves to you. The absolute best way to avoid this is to switch up the locations every now and then. So as far as locations to meet up go, remain consistently inconsistent

STIPULATION #9: THE BENEFITS CANNOT BE SHARED BETWEEN TWO FRIENDS THAT HAVE PREVIOUSLY DATED

This goes back to the "Stuck in Reverse" piece posted a while back. This just won't work cause old flames will eventually become rekindled and just like that someone has caught feelings and wants to be more than friends tarnishing the entire concept of friends with benefits. Find someone that you don't have a past with you and you'll be a much happier person. Just trust me on this.

STIPULATION #10: YOU CAN NEVER, EVER, EVER EVER EVER SPEND THE NIGHT OVER!

Should have been number one to me! Call it common courtsey or whatever you want but this is the staple of the entire contract. Everything previously stated could somehow someway be forgiven... in a since, but not this. At the first sign of this it needs to be nipped in the bud. You should never know what a friend with benefits looks like when they awake in the morning, there's explantion to why. If the sex was so good that you both fell asleep afterwards, be sure to wake that ass up and go home or tell them they have to leave for whatever reason. If you won't have a ride back to your crib, then your friend needs to come to your spot. If they can't do that then the meeting needs to be postponed. You can let down a friend with benefits cause there is not emotional attachment as stated previously in stipulation #2. Don't be afraid to let them down, they are binded by a contractal agreement not to get angry. Sleeping together brings an intimate aspect into the relationship which is obviously not desired in this case so it should be avoided