Dating during an era where its literally break-ups to make-ups right back to break-ups it can be easy to remain just friends with some folks. Now I'm not talking about friends like the ones in the traveling pants movie (which never really made sense to me, like how can the same pair of jeans fit four completely different females?) or the ya-ya sisterhood, I'm referring to inter-gender friendships. The male-female "strictly platonic" friendships. Ones where a level of trust is established and boundaries are set.
True friends are to be there for you whenever, wherever, for whatever and some are. Others, especially males, have other intentions in mind, and may just be seasonal companions. They'll plan to place themselves in a position where if a girls current man fucks up, she'll have a perceptive that something good was right under her nose the entire time. Now I hate to say that dudes have game but I will say that they will use at least one (sometimes a combination of a few) of theses styles to befriend a lady who is spoken for.
1. The Baller
The friend who never has a shortage of cash. He can wine and dine you, get you gifts, and hint at taking lengthy getaways. You know, suggestions out the blue like I'm trying to go to Jamaica for weekend. He'll attempt to win you over with materialistic things with little to no substance.
2. The Enabler
The friend who has a surplus of alcohol and/or drugs. He'll stimulate your mind at any opportunity. He doesn't want to get you inebriated so to speak, he just knows that his particular vice helps him escape his reality of problems so why wouldn't it help you. You have to be careful with him though cause he'll definitely share a story where things went a little too far with a previous friend due to the liquor or bud.
3. The Ear
He is always there when you call and mostly all you'll hear from him is "yeah?" "for real?" or "I don't know what to tell you." He'll listen and listen well, so ladies mostly keep him around so they can vent. He'll be able to say that he knows you better anybody cause... he will know you pretty damn well always listening to you rant and rave.
4. The Comedian
He can make you laugh and smile as he has jokes for days. You'll feel good inside when with him, but you'll never ever know when he's serious. It'll be cool at first but it'll become irritating sooner than you think.
5. The Club Hopper
He'll only get in contact with the ladies on the weekend. He'll hit 'em up and see "what's poppin'?" or ask "what you on for tonight?" He does know how to have a good time, yet he may be just a little too much fun. You'll see a lack of balance between the fun and work.
6. The Psychopath
Something is a little off with him. He's not afraid to act a fool in public. Ready to throwdown in a blink of an eye, and girls feel secure when with him. Yeah he's crazy, but no one can harm you when you with him... well, except him of course.
7. The Orator
He is blessed with the gift of gab, he'll know what to say, how to say, and most of all when to say it. He'll come off as knowledgeable and times will leave you with a lost for words. He's a whole lot of filler, but you'll notice that me may be full of himself, a know-it-all. Some ladies will view him as confident but too many as arrogant.
8. The Traditionalist
He can show you better than he can tell you so he'll walk the walk, and drop hints about how he's doing this and that for his girl. He'll willingly tell you how happy his lady is with him and will try to talk about her to you in a way he feels you want a man to discuss you when you're the main topic. You'll also notice how his relationship goes sour as soon as yours does and now he'll want to spend more and more time with you.
9. The Hater
He's the one who will tell you "I knew you all won't gonna last from jump." He never had anything positive to say about dude and always sides with the lady during all disputes. His lasting impression will be, "you should quit his ass." I personally feel that this friend is just simply jealous that he isn't with you and he most certainly feels he's a better man for you.
(styles that didn't receive their own paragraph: The Mama's Boy, The Workaholic, The Rebel, and The Victim)
Before we go any further there's at simple rule of thumb when in a relationship: any friend that was made after you hooked up is subject to change if your significant other has a problem with them. This does exclude all friends made prior to the relationship. For example if you meet a guy after you started dating your boyfriend and he doesn't approve of said friendship then you can no longer befriend the individual. Cased closed! (Be aware the inverse also applies, if you disapprove of any female.) It doesn't matter that you feel that you can just be friends with him and please don't take it as a my boyfriend doesn't trust me issue. He does trust you, he doesn't trust the dude (because he's a man himself) and he's doing his best to avoid any future scenarios that may result with him cursing your ass out.
In addition any friendships made through your boyfriend are lost as a result of a breakup whether it be male or female. The friend in question is designated back to your now ex-boyfriend and you are restricted to a hi-n-bye relationship until further notice. theses are they rules and they are punishable by death.
All in all though, be mindful of the company you keep.
3 comments:
very interesting read. i don't want to stir up any drama or anything, its just my response and opinion that i am entitled to so here it goes: what is the criteria for when the boyfriend makes the decision that the girlfriend can't be friends with the other individual? what qualifies the disapproval of the girlfriends friend? it can be as simple as "i just don't like him because i just don't". and if that were the case, is the girlfriend really suppose to not be friends with the other male friend?
I could give a long ass explanation of the criteria that makes an individual applicable as someone who deserves to be dissapproved but when it comes down to it the person who qualifies for disaproval is anyone who is currently disrespecting or has disrespected either counterpart and/or the relationship as a whole. At the end of the day the only person who should matter is your counterpart, as such you should do what it takes to make sure your Ms/Mrs is happy at home before you are concerned with any outside party.
I like this article, because Im definitely the orator or the comedian when it comes to being females "male friends" outside their relationship. I was very entertained off this piece. I might have to stop being funny though, because I ain't trying to have that get in the way of potential twat.
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